Hectic to Rested - Hope for the Weary Pastor's Wife

Are you tired much of the time?

Does it seem like your church life uses you up?

Are you married to a ministry workaholic?

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How do ministry families authentically rest? Since Sunday is a workday, where are our rest stops during the week?  Honestly, some of the worst workaholics I’ve met are pastors.  My husband, Ken, and I served under one lead pastor who didn’t believe in days off at all. Yikes.

 God established rest as a kingdom principle for all his children, including people in ministry.

A great temptation for pastors and their families is to work themselves to a frazzle because the work is never done. The needs are unending. Still, God wants us to live in his rest and model that for our congregations. May I encourage you to consider again, God’s ideas on rest? My hope is that by reminding yourself of these scriptures, you will give yourself permission for regular, refreshing rest.

God introduced rest in Genesis 2. 

Did God need to rest because creating wore him out? Nope. So why did he rest? Matthew Henry says in his commentary. “God did not rest as one weary, but as one well pleased.”  God stepped back for a whole day and enjoyed what he created on the other six. 

God rested after he restored order from chaos.

God transformed a world that was “formless, empty and dark." (Genesis 1:1) God calls pastors to speak into lives bombarded by the disorder that Satan constantly creates. In all we do, we create pathways for people to come away from the dysfunctional and sinful and live beautiful, light-filled, God-ordered lives, right? We can’t honestly teach or model what we don’t live out ourselves.

Man disrupted God’s original rest and order.  

When God created Adam, he gave him enjoyable work to do. Before sin, work was joy. Genesis doesn’t talk about Adam and Eve specifically resting on the 7th day, but we can assume they did, because that is the pattern God set for Eden. I picture the three of them walking and talking together admiring all the gorgeous trees and plants, accompanied by various animals who joined the conversation. (Eve wasn’t at all surprised when the serpent spoke to her) When Adam and Eve sinned, the damage to the cycle of work, rest and fellowship with God was catastrophic.

Through Christ, we get to enjoy an Eden-like intimacy with God again. We get to partner with him in work that matters. Whether we are a pastor, chemical engineer, homemaker, waitress, doctor, health coach or third shift tool and die maker, our work as God’s children takes on  a meaning different from unbelievers.

How we work and how we treat our coworkers can give people a glimpse of Eden, especially when we produce the luscious fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23)

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Even on Sundays and Wednesdays, our big work days,  if those of us in leadership keep our focus on the audience of One instead of all the nuts and bolts of the ministry itself, we too can be refreshed.

God put rest in the ten commandments. 

Rest was such a priority to God, he made it law for the Israelites. God is always trying to help his people recreate Eden-like experiences, finding beauty, rest, order, and joy in His presence all day, every day but especially on the Sabbath. As leaders of God’s flocks, rest MUST be a priority for pastors and their families. Weary shepherds will struggle to care for sheep, especially difficult ones.

Jesus sat down and rested at the right hand of God after his earthly ministry was completed.

In Hebrews 10 Paul does not say that Jesus stood next to God after his ascension. He sat down. Not only that, but a footstool was also prepared for him. Did he need to rest up after his earthly ministry? Nope. He followed God’s pattern of rest.

Jesus is now our Sabbath rest.

Jesus’ sacrifice perfectly fulfilled the law so we could rest from the work of trying to perfectly keep the law. In Hebrews 4 Paul warns us not to be like disobedient Israelites who were not allowed to enter the promised land. He invites us instead, to enter a lifestyle of rest through Jesus.

I encourage you to start to examine where your places of Sabbath rest are in your schedule and your husband’s schedule. Pastoral couples who do not honor this principle faithfully are prime candidates for burn-out, bitterness, marital infidelity, addictions, and a host of other troubles. 

In part two of this series, available on this page, I’ll share my story of transitioning from hectic to rested.